So after taking some time off, I've come to some conclusions:
1) All people are all equal-not just in their rights, but in intelligence, athletic ability, and attractiveness. Actually, the oppressed groups are probably more equal than everyone else.
2) We should eat meat, since animals were created by a benevolent overlord to be eaten by humans, who were created in his image.
3) Islam is actually a quite beautiful religion once you take everything into account
4) The main purpose of life is to buy stuff to show to others and impress them. Thank God for marketers! If not for them we wouldn't know what to spend on to max out our credit cards!
5) People are usually rational and all their decisions make sense.
6) There is a meaning to our existence
7) Sex outside of holy matrimony is one of the worst sins possible
8) Beware of those advocating using technology to improve the human condition. Natural is the way to go
9) All economic differences between countries are caused by oppression by the Western world.
10) We should let as many unskilled immigrants in as possible, so that we can repay them for holding down their countries.
11) Don't pay attention to the 25K children who will die tonight because of hunger or genocide, and don't let that fact question the previous statements.