Saturday, April 14, 2007

Dating Disparity

In response to the comment on my previous post,

From Wikipedia,
"While men tend to go to Asia for sex tourism, women tend to head to the Caribbean, Southern Europe, and Africa."

White men are generally not attracted to black women. This is because they are more masculine than white women, who are more dominating and less feminine than asian women, which explains the popularity of Asian women. The reverse is true for female attraction to men.

The way you describe it, Asian men and black women are in the same boat.

I think you are attributing too much importance to "social power," "status," and "negative media stereotypes,"

If you look purely at dating arrangements in general, even within a single race, the dominating, charismatic guy does well, and the feminine girl does well.

Now, you look at which races correlate with which attributes: white men are more likely to be more dominating and charismatic than asian men (testosterone disparity-see other post). So, white men are more attractive to asian women than asian men.

Now, white women are more feminine than black women (in terms of facial structure, presence of long hair, obesity rates, less-fiesty personality) and therefore are more attractive to men than black women.

It's a tough break for black women and Asian men.




Now, this is something I really want to bring up because I see it referenced over and over again: the idea that negative media stereotypes determine our beliefs. I say no. I say that it is our stereotypes, which form in response to life experience and anecdotal/statistical evidence, that determine media bias.

If a movie was made in which an asian guy emasculated a black or white guy, it wouldn't make sense. Something in us would realize that its not right, that the movie is unrealistic. The movie wouldn't do well.

If there was a movie in which it was white people coming into a black neighborhood and making things less safe, people wouldn't buy it. It doesn't make sense. Why? Because whites don't committ crimes at the same rate as hispanics and blacks.

So now, we have the dating issue. In response to the BIOLOGICAL testosterone disparity between men of different races, certain ethnic stereotypes have formed which are largely true. So, the Asian guys are looked at as wimpy because, well, they are generally smaller and less aggressive. And frankly, if there was an Asian guy complaining that the white guy was stealing his chicks, its because he is not aggressive and built, not just because he's asian.

Sure, if two guys were exactly equal (in height, looks, confidence, humor, voice tone, body language, ...) and one was Asian and the other white, the girl may go either way, maybe picking the white guy because of status issues. But, that rarely happens. Usually the competition is between more dominant white males and more nerdy asians. Is it really surprising who wins?

Same thing with Black women. I love Tyra Banks, Ciara, Hale Berry, and many others. It's just that the AVERAGE black woman is fatter, more negroid looking, shorter haired (and less straight haired), less intelligent, and more boisterous than the average white, asian, indian, or hispanic woman. So, I generally don't find them attractive.

The same qualities universally attract women: confidence, humor, solid body language, intelligence, looks, ...

The same qualities attract men: cute face, hip to waist ratio, boobs, butt, and not being too aggressive, and not being fat. Are you telling me that certain races don't have this more than others?

It's just that certain races are more endowed with it than others. Blame evolution: read my previous posts on why.


But, to all the Asian men out there: do not fret. There is hope. Check out the Asian playboy blog
http://theasianplayboy.blogspot.com
he has some tips on how to deal. Remember, its always the personality that wins. If you try to convince a girl based on how much money you make or how smart you are, she won't buy it. Yeah, Asian guys, I'm talking to you. But, if you demonstrate confidence and humor, she's yours. Asian guys have alot of approach anxiety. Reference previous posts on evolutionary psychology to figure out why the brain triggers anxiety chemicals more in asians than others. Get rid of approach anxiety.

Black women? It's a little tougher. Because attraction for women is more looks than personality based, genetics matters more than society. Lose weight, cut the attitude, try to grow some long hair that doesn't feel like brillo when we touch it.

Remember, all women, secretly, want to be dominated. If you don't believe me, ask the feminists why women who get beaten by their husbands keep returning.

Women don't respect a man that they can control.

Given that there are huge dominance disparities between races, do dating disparities surprise anyone?

23 comments:

Rebecca Yu said...

Now, this is something I really want to bring up because I see it referenced over and over again: the idea that negative media stereotypes determine our beliefs. I say no. I say that it is our stereotypes, which form in response to life experience and anecdotal/statistical evidence, that determine media bias.

Well, I agree that the media is not the ONLY factor - but it is certainly an influential one.

Now, in the case of Asian-American men here - what you have is the "geekiest" of the "geekiest" cherry-picked out for media exposure.

What do I mean?

1) Most recent Asian-American immigrants were "brain drain" nerds who came here on for post-grad studies. Really smart guys - but also the geekiest "Erkels" of Asia. And even in the Gold Rush days - it was the short "low class" Cantonese who came here to build railroads and do laundry. So, these were never the top physical specimens of Asia - but the bottom, if anything. As opposed to recent athletic imports like Yao Ming or Japanese baseballers - who can well more than hang with the locals!

2) Out of this "nerd herd," our media tends to choose only the nerdiest ones to fit their stereotypical roles. The short chubby "William Hung's" and "Bobby Lee's." There are very few leading roles available for Asian alphas. That's why Bruce Lee had to make it big overseas before he could get a real shot with Hollywood.

So, what you see as "Asian-American" men on TV are really just one extreme tail end of the bell curve. This hyperbolation is the result of a double-filtration by immigration and media selection.

Meanwhile, in Asia and some other countries - it is the OTHER tail end that achieves entertainment stardom. Look at some of the guys here. Is there not quite a difference between Ken Watanabe & William Hung?

While I do not disagree that there may be slight racial bell curve shifts - these shifts are indeed hyperbolized by the media feedback loop.

Where the same thing goes for Black men too. Only the physically strongest were culled out here by slavery and the media also selects the studliest out of those for stock portrayals.

So, when you compare the tail end of one race with the opposite tail end of another - it's really not a fair comparison and exagerrates any average differences that were there.

TabooTruth said...

Then please explain the very first quote, the one on sex tourism destinations. Also, explain why within Asian countries, many girls, who are already wealthy, pursue caucasian men?

You bring up fair points. However, while there are plenty of masculine asian men, the proportions are just no comparison to that in African/White/Arab countries. Also, I don't think its just the nerdiest men who come to the US. It's also the most entrepreneurial and risk taking people too.

Keep in mind: this is NOT an insult. Asian people are the smartest in the world, and will lead the advancement of the human race in the coming century.

It's just that in the dating circles, women don't care about brains. It's all about social dominance. Hey, I'm a complaining nerd too. Hence, mystery method and other techniques to overcome my 5'7.

Rebecca Yu said...

Also, explain why within Asian countries, many girls, who are already wealthy, pursue caucasian men?

Well, we have many intersecting variables here. One is certainly race/genetics and the others include class, wealth, national ideology, lifestyle, exoticism, lack of better options, etc.

Yes, girls always wanna trade up. Who doesn't? For some that means more money, a better lifestyle, a different race, etc. A lot of it depends on what the girl feels like she is lacking in and needs to obtain in exchange for things she does have.

So, if a caucasian enjoys broad appeal in Asia...which factor is it due to? Likely a combination of many - but it's hard to isolate any single one. I mean, Asian-American ex-pats can also enjoy heightened appeal in Asia or the EU. And European men can also enjoy heightened appeal here. So, while race alone may have an effect, it's just hard to separate it out to measure it.

"While men tend to go to Asia for sex tourism, women tend to head to the Caribbean, Southern Europe, and Africa."

Well sure, if you are raised under certain racial stereotypes...wouldn't you believe in and seek them out? But, does that prove all those stereotypes are true?

I mean, billions of people go to McD's - but does that mean they have the best food? Or just the best marketing?

Also, White men go to EU red light districts & Latin America too. Probably far more than Asia.

And White women go to Thailand as well.

From the same wiki article which you selectively omitted:

Thailand, the Dominican Republic and Cuba are exceptional in that both male and female sex tourists find these places all-purpose sexual emporia.

The primary destinations for female sex tourism...Bali in Indonesia and Phuket in Thailand. Lesser destinations include Nepal


There are even several blogs out there by ex-pat White girls playing sugar-mamas for their Thai boyfriends...


Now, I am not denying your Steve Sailer theories here. Genetics and race DO have a huge impact on everything. But nowhere are these racial differences more pronounced and hyperbolized than the US media matrix. You just don't realize how distorted it is until you travel abroad...

TabooTruth said...

Hard to separate or measure? Just look at marriage numbers. Despite the lack of single women relative to men in China, the amount of marriages between Chinese women and Caucasian men totally dwarfs the marriage between Chinese men and Caucasian women.

The tourism numbers do prove the stereotypes true. Considering how many poor countries there are out there, theres no prohibition on where to go for sex tourism. Remember what I said before: stereotypes only stick because they are largely congruent with reality. Sure, white men go to Latin America and Netherlands. But, Thai girls are the most attractive and attainable.

I have spent 4 months in Asia as an exchange student, and this is where I formulated my ideas on race and dating, not in the US. It's no contest. I was with a group of white, American students.

The guys had a field day. The girls, whether rich university students, or village chicks, dug the white guys and they had a blast. Some guys who didn't get laid in years back home were laying multiple chicks there....for free, just because of their race.
All the Thai women complained about the Thai men, and that they liked white guys more.

Now the women...well, most of them didn't like Thai guys. In my time there, I only saw a few white women hook up with Thai guys, even though they were constantly being propositioned. Most of the American girls in my group complained that they were too feminine and didn't like them, and were looking forward to returning home.

In Thailand's sex city, Pattaya, sure there are asian and western women who come to adopt a Thai man and use him. Honestly, I think its more of a power trip issue than any sexual gratification thing.

However, there is also a bar that has NIGERIAN men catering to JAPANESE women. Don't see the same thing for the men, no?

I understand that there is alot of ethnic solidarity going on. However, attraction is not a choice. People respond to what stimulates them emotionally. Girls respond to dominance. Perhaps when China rules the world in 20 years the men will be more assertive, but I don't know. Social engineering has limits.

Anonymous said...

Girls respond to dominance. Perhaps when China rules the world in 20 years the men will be more assertive, but I don't know. Social engineering has limits.

While the rest of the world was fighting other tribes, most of Asia was unified by a few Chinese or Mongol emperors who had absolute dominion over their subjects.

There was no way to stand up to the all-powerful emperor and it resulted in the prevailing Asian culture of keeping your head down. The social pressure in Asian culture is intense and restrictive because it was an adaptive mechanism designed to save your ass from sassing the emperor.

Hence Asian culture is repressive, conformist, and deferential.

In Europe, lords were numerous and weaker, and you had a greater chance of finding individual success by fighting against the establishment. Thus individualism is valued and encouraged there.

nzconservative said...

Stereotypes are based on fact, otherwise people wouldn't get worked up about them. Nobody gets angry about absurd observatons that have no factual basis, they just laugh them off.

Certainly racial stereotypes are exaggerated and over simplistic, but that doesn't mean they don't have some validity.

TabooTruth said...

Culture creates stereytypes.

Could the conformist Asian culture be genetically bred by an emperor that eliminated men that didn't know their place?

It's primarily an evolution issue, though. Asian men and women evolved in cold climates in which large investments in offspring and high parental cooperation were necessary. The right traits were bred. Culture came later.

ShaolinSuperstar said...

"Could the conformist Asian culture be genetically bred by an emperor that eliminated men that didn't know their place?"

Absolutely. It bred a subservient eunuch class.

In fact, big burly men who served the royals were all castrated as eunuchs. So, their genes did not pass on.

Because the emperor wanted NO challenges to his throne or viable sperm competition. So, he wiped out all gutsy men who posed threats to either. This happened in purges after purges...

Meanwhile, the docile worker bees who stayed obediently subordinate were allowed to survive. Which forms the majority of the Han Chinese population today. particularly the Southerners.

And I don't think the climate was that influential beccause Southern China is actually quite temperate.

Anonymous said...

To the guy trying to use science and biology and justify his closet racism and ignore the effects of White privilege or mass media:

In terms of pure physical attribute, women are considered more attractive for having ideal child bearing hips (waist/hip ratio), larger breasts and butts, yet Asian women fall behind against other women in these categories, so you can't use this biological argument to explain it. On the other hand, while 500 years ago fat women were considered hot and beautiful, these days Asian women are constantly exotified in tv, film, litereature, and porn, and it definitely has had an effect over the past 50 years.

Conversely, we no longer live in a caveman society (although based on your post it sounds like you still do). Men no longer kill, we are ruled by law, by police enforcement, and in a system where intelligence, wealth, and ability are more attractive than anything else. Since you love to spout statistics, you should know that White men on average are LESS INTELLIGENT than Asian men based on all sorts of tests, and in the US make less average incomes and education, while having higher rates of spousal abuse, child molestation, divorce, violence, rape, and murder than Asian men in the US.

If you're going to use biology you still lose, you can't use science or biology to explain weirdass social phenomenon of so many young pretty Asian girls whose faces are beaming like they won a prize or something, with a White guy who is oftentimes fat, old, bald, wimpy, socially awkward, or a a social reject. The answer lies in global and Hollywood mass media, the social norms created, and how they constantly shape our opinions, including sexual preference and desire. As a White guy it destroys your carefully constructed house of cards that builds up your ego, because the real reason of mass-media manufactured White worship and Asian fetish makes some realize they are social predators.
-Patriot4

Anonymous said...

[Also, explain why within Asian countries, many girls, who are already wealthy, pursue caucasian men?]

This is the real question, and here is the answer: Many Asian people all over the world have White worship, self hate, and inferiority complex.
It's not about wealth because some or many Japanese are also White worshipping, it is clearly evident in how many Whites they use in ads and commercials and in Caucasian-looking anime and cartoon and videogame characters, and why so many Asians are obsessed with getting eyelid enlarging surgery today compared to 500 years ago.

Additionally, some or many Asians are obsessed with status (post-confucianism), hierarchy, and brand names, I'm sure you know Asians who are obsessed with wearing name brand clothing, getting into prestigious schools, driving branded cars, etc. Well, the global mass media is dominated by White-centric fashion and beauty media, as well as constantly branding White men as the most attractive and best (movies don't just brand products, but can also brand people or races of people). It makes sense that some Asians develop White worship and self hate as a result, which is why you see so many disproportionate attractiveness pairings these days with a White guy with an Asian girl who is way out of his league; the girl gives the guy 'points' because he is Caucasian.

Anonymous said...

[Hence Asian culture is repressive, conformist, and deferential.]

I love it when idiot arrogant White males reveal how ignorant they are. I bet some genius will reply about how he lived in China for 2 weeks and read a book so is now an expert on Chinese and Asian people.
In terms of Chinese culture, in now way is it conformist, in fact the 1.3 billion Chinese people are so different from each other in terms of attitudes, cultures, interests, and even languages. In a lot of ways, American people are much more conformist and homogeneous in their thinking and culture.

[Stereotypes are based on fact]

Well I guess you should have no problem then if Asian people think all White men are two-faced, selfish, manipulative, promiscuous, cheat on their wives and girlfriends, all use drugs, sexist, and limp-dicked even when erect. You're a hypocrite if you have a problem with this, since stereotypes are based on truth, and this is what many Asians think or have seen about White males.

[In fact, big burly men who served the royals were all castrated as eunuchs. So, their genes did not pass on.]

It's just too funny to see what some White guys will come up with explain their own crazy theories.
If you think believe this theory, then I guess you can't complain if I say back in the Dark Ages, in order to survive people had to cheat and steal and lie, which is why so many Whites these days are manipulative, deceitful, opportunistic, and imperialistic.

The REAL reason for some or many effeminate Asian men you may have noticed, is that in modern times as well as going all the way back to the dynasties, Chinese women have controlled the money. In many many ways, this influences the products made, media, ads, entertainment, culture, and behavior of a people. Additionally, women have long bossed around their husbands and sons in numbers far greater than most Western wives. In America you know how "mommas boys" turn out, now imagine millions of Chinese sons with overbearing mothers and imagine how they turn out.

Anonymous said...

[Remember, all women, secretly, want to be dominated. If you don't believe me, ask the feminists why women who get beaten by their husbands keep returning.]

In case people needed any more proof that this person is insane and not credible.

Anonymous said...

tabootruth said: [I have spent 4 months in Asia as an exchange student, and this is where I formulated my ideas on race and dating, not in the US. It's no contest. I was with a group of white, American students. The guys had a field day. The girls, whether rich university students, or village chicks, dug the white guys and they had a blast. Some guys who didn't get laid in years back home were laying multiple chicks there....for free, just because of their race.]

1. Many Asian men and women have an inferiority complex, self hate, and White worship towards Caucasians. This is why Asian women more easily accept propositions from dorky White guys who are bald, old, fat, wimpy, homely-looking, or social rejects from their home country. It doesn't take a genius to realize that these disproportionately attractive pairs are because being 'White' gives the guy points in the minds of some Asians. Also, many brainwashed Uncle Tom Asians will say or do *anything*, including bash their own culture or opposite gendered people of the same ethnicity, in order to fuel the ego of their White Trophy. White worship and inferiority complex is also the reason why Asian men are more shy and less confident approaching White women.

2. Look at the tons of ads, commercials, movies, fashion mags, mall posters that feature and glamorize and 'brand' White people as the prettiest, best, etc. Then look at how many Asians try to surgically enlarge their eyes to look more Caucasian (the #1 surgery among Asian women in Asia), or the growing number of Asian girls who dye their hair blond and wear blue contacts.

3. While unspoken, some or many White men secretly know about Asian White worship, and they go to Asia to be social predators leveraging their White skin. Many English teachers in Asia are unqualified teachers, dirty perverts, or social rejects from their home countries, with major superiority complexes and White Knight mentalities in Asia based on the blogs online.

Ezana said...

this shit is flat out racist.

Using a bullshit scientific pretense to explain why black chicks are ugly and asian dudes are pussies is soooo five minutes ago.

White supremacists step your game up! Lemmie see something new!

(in all fairness: developing a white superiority complex from asain girls kissing one's ass isnt talked about much--so you get points for that)

Anonymous said...

[quote: TabooLie]this is where I formulated my ideas on race and dating[/quote]

Just because you "formulated" these ignorant ideas on "dating and race" it doesn't mean they have any credence or truth to them.

That was one of the most racist tripe I've seen that tries to get passed of by intelligent analyzation of the laws of attraction of humans based on genetic makeup (racial-wise). This whole blog/crap is based on false stereotypes, generalization, and a distortion of statistics. The idea that certain racial groups are more dangerous than others base on crime statistics, when it's more a matter of economics status, environmental elements, media portrayals, and discrimination (such as racial profiling and higher sentences or same crimes by different groups) why certain groups in American have higher statistics when it comes to crime and poorer results when it comes to school/tests.

Not only that, you seem to be speaking on behalf of other races, which you have no clue about.

I love the classic KKK gems like the average African American woman is less intelligent and attractive than other women (more specifically Caucasian women) because of "negroid" or masculine features. The line about African American women hair feeling like brillo, which is funny because it's so off-base seeing how most Americanized African American women have straight hair, is pure racist nonsense. If you, personally, are not attracted to African American women because you feel the majority of them have less European facial features, it doesn't mean you can speak for all Caucasian men, and you definitely can't speak for any African American, Latino, Asian, or other racial groups of men.

The idea that Caucasian men are genetically less criminal than African American or Latino men is laughable. Caucasians normally have less need to turn to crime because they are usually in higher economic classes. This is understandable considering Slavery, Jim Crow, and the amount of "illegal" immigrants coming from Spanish countries. Some of the most savage and ruthless acts in history have been cared out by Caucasian men.

I can't speak about why Asian women prefer Caucasian men, but most likely it's has to do with the White Supremacy views Americans and other Europeans spread across the world in the past (like the plague). Then add to that the American media which portray Caucasians as the "Devine Race" and everybody else are just lesser more primitive variations of the GREAT WHITE MAN.

Anonymous said...

Well, Ezana, first of all I don't think you can dismiss this discussion as white supremacist talking, since taboo truth actually says asians are MORE intelligent than whites. I would add that Jewish people test higher in IQ as well. So anonymous, you're not scoring points with that assertion- since I think we can all accept this.

J felipe Rushton is the expert in these racial differences. But suffice to to say, as you go from black, to white, then to asian, you see larger brain sizes, larger IQ's, smaller physiques, more rule following behavior. Women value intelligence, but also value social dominance more. Following the rules and being physically smaller don't project social dominance. Women want both ideally. Women are biologically programmed to seek this out. Now how can women determine social dominance? By how others react to the man, his confidence, his wealth, his experiences, and his physical size. Tall people are much more likely to become CEO's or Senators, for instance.

So again, in this discussion, whites are admitting asians are smarter, and blacks are more physically adept. How is that white supremacy? But if you're a white guy and admit someone else is better than you, you're still a racist, lol!

Anonymous mentions negative stereotypes of whites- dishonest, womanizing, druggie, less employable. Of course- that's the exciting "bad boy" that women like, dummy! Same reason white girls go for black guys sometimes, and why white and hispanic males emulate hip hop culture, it's dangerous and edgy. Women find this exciting, at least until they want to settle down and marry, then they want a boring rule follower with a good job to raise the kids. But they want to sleep with a man who is a little edgy, someone daddy wouldn't like but not someone dangerous per se.

You can go on and on about how culture shapes our views- but who makes the culture? Why should Hollywood influence Asian culture? They make movies in Asia- look at Bollywood! People are using this as the excuse for why asian girls like white guys. But then why do white guys like asian girls so much? Since whites watch the same movies and TV, and the media supposedly glorifies whiteness, why don't white men only want to be with white women, especially since we're all so racist?

I'm a white guy with blue eyes- I have women complement my eyes all the time. Here's the funny thing- I hate girls with light eyes, blonde hair and big boobs- the American ideal. Does nothing at all for me. I like dark eyes, long dark straight hair, petite bodies and skin color doesn't matter. Lots of women who fit this description are asian, but not all. Everyone has their own taste. Despite the media glorifying blondes, I have my own tastes. We all do. We are all the product of biology which drives our passions, but also gives us individuality and a brain to think.

logdick said...

Ezana - how many Asian men have you personally been sexually-attracted to and fucked?

Vs how many White or Black men?

If your answer is 0 to the first, then kindly STFU. And put your pussy where your mouth is next time.

Anonymous said...

"Lose weight, cut the attitude, try to grow some long hair that doesn't feel like brillo when we touch it
Some of the things you said in your blog seemed based on little life experience. I will try to make this brief. I am 5'5 and 120 pounds, volunteer, a biochemistry major in college, and have friends. I feel like your blog uses the stereotypical unmotivated/poor American black as the example. I am an immigrant, and though I may have the same skin color as them, my culture is vastly different. As far as the hair thing, a person does not have much control over what comes from their scalp. I have long, soft, curly hair but I don't equate that to steel wool/Brillo. Before going on a date I asked the guy about his preferences, and I decided to straighten my hair so that it would be visually appealing to him :) I would appreciate it if more people knew that just because a girl's skin is brown, does not mean that a girl fits the stereotype. Thank you and have a nice day.

Anonymous said...

Sorry :) the other quotation mark was accidentally erased:

"Lose weight, cut the attitude, try to grow some long hair that doesn't feel like brillo when we touch it"

Additionally, hair can feel like a Brillo pad when it is bleached improperly.

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